is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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