I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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