It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
