I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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