she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
