And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
