I am puke
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
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Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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