your thong is hanging out like whoa
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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