New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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