I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
