My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize