Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
