I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
