i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
