Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
