Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
