I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
