U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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