My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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