I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
