Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Randomize
