omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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