I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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