Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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