Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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