3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
