and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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