hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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