i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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