if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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