Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
