How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
