Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
