She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
