Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
