the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
