your parents love me but you hate me
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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