Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
