well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
