I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
