i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
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Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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