You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
