I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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