we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
