when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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