Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize