Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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