I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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