Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Mom said you looked used
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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