That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
