This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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