Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
you will always have a special place in my vag
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This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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