He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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