im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
They have beer where we have blood.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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