It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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