there's paper in my vomit.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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