we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
