also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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