Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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