you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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