Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
