Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
