remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I'm having to shit out rocks
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
