I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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